We don't talk about money enough with Kris Vallotton

This is a short clip from a conversation I had with Kris Vallotton, and it has less to do with mortgages than most of what I post. I included it because the way we think about money shapes every financial decision, including buying a home.

The topic was why we do not talk about money enough. In the conversation, one of the ideas that came up was a belief many people hold without ever deciding to hold it: that being rich will solve all my problems, that it is the key to happiness. It can drive an entire early career. And then you realize that is not what it means to live well, and you are left trying to figure out how to manage the whole beast of money.

We talked about how rare it is to discuss money openly. In some circles, people do talk about their finances plainly, with friends who are on an even playing field, trying to help each other. That is not normal, and we talked about how that is true even in church communities. Two things people do not talk about much are sex and money. I think that is to a lot of people's detriment.

One idea in the conversation is that a rich person has an incredible advantage over a poor person, but not the advantage people think. A rich person knows that getting rich does not solve their problems, and they are not necessarily happy. A person who does not have money tends to think, if I had stuff, if I did not have debt, if I had nice clothes and a nice car, then I would like myself and feel good about my life. A rich person has already been there and knows it is not true. The person chasing money can spend an entire life chasing it, sure they would be happy once they got the things.

The conversation also touched on how people can end up in hard places after a windfall. Examples that came up were selling a business for $10 million, or a job that pays half a million dollars a year. Then, sometimes, the marriage is in trouble or the inner world is a mess, and they are trying to figure out why. That is not an argument against earning money. It is a reminder that money is a tool, not the answer.

I bring this up because I sit across the table from families making the biggest financial decision of their lives. The ones who do best usually know why they want the house, what it is meant to do for them, and what they are not willing to give up for it. That is a conversation worth having before you ever talk about rates.

If you are thinking about buying a home or restructuring what you owe, I am glad to talk it through. You can get your rate to get started.